Date: 6/30/17 12:56 pm From: Joseph Neal <joeneal...> Subject: SPECIAL AGENT IN CHARGE OF ILLEGAL BIRD IMMIGRATION
I received several messages this afternoon from some of you who know me and were shocked to hear that at my ripe old age I now have a job. My apologies. I probably should have provided some more information in my post about migrants at Centerton than just bragging that I had taken two hours off from work to go bird watching. I know everyone wants that job.
Actually my comments were what are now called fake news. Maybe alternative facts. My 2 hours were actually ON the job.
So my job is pretty cool. I have been hired as Special Agent In Charge of Illegal Bird Immigration, Northwest Arkansas City office. I screen all incoming birds, just like I have for years, but now the pay is really great. Making Bird Watching Great Again. Just at the time in life when it was all seeming dull, I have bird watching with the mission to protect Northwest Arkansas City!
I do not have to be concerned about white birds, like this morning’s Great Egret and not overly much about the mostly white ones like Forster’s Tern. Other birds, especially the darker ones – like this morning’s Least Sandpiper – I have to keep an eye out for them and require they present all relevant documents.
The word has just come down from headquarters: Keep a sharp eye out for birds that are black, gray, yellow, or red! No grandparents! No cousins!